I Heart New York 4

Look at this:I took this picture yesterday from my apartment. I was working on my computer, sitting on my bed (which also serves as my office), when J's eyes got really big and he told me to turn around. Slowly. A hawk had landed on our fire escape, not two feet from where I sat. A hawk.

I've seen hawks in the city before, usually in the park from a distance, but this time the thing landed just a pane of glass away. And in its talons was a freshly-killed pigeon. As we watched, the hawk eyed us up and down, repositioned himself on top of his dinner, and began to tear its feathers out.

J, Justin, the two cats and I sat by the window for a full hour, both gleeful and horrified, as the hawk ate first the pigeon's head, then its heart, guts, and even choked down one whole leg - foot and all. I've never seen anything like it.

The thing was gorgeous, and huge, though its hard to tell from the photo. But if you look closely you'll see it's standing on a pigeon - not a small bird - and you can get a sense of how massive the thing was.

Once it was done, the hawk flew away, leaving our fire escape covered in feathers, bird shit, and the carcass:


It was the most intimate National Geographic moment I've ever had, and in New York City, of all places.

To top it all off, we may have solved the mystery of the demon bird...

GTD from 760***0487:
mir Come to the bathrooms

Second Demon Bird Discovered By Alert Aunt

I have a wonderful family. Especially in this difficult time, they've provided a steady stream of love and support, the most recent manifestation of which is my aunt Sally's response to the demon bird mystery. She scoured the internet and came up with this possible suspect (listen to the bird in the background):



A very good guess, since this bird obviously came straight from the gates of hell, but it's not the NYC demon bird, I'm afraid. The NYC demon call is more of two toned thing, with the stress on the second syllable. errrAWWW errrAWWW! But thanks for your diligent observation, aunt Sal!

GTD from steeve.Rudolph@riot-productions.com:
(anurous) hello gorgeous mir
once you get it there's no turning back

Demon Bird Infiltrates NYC

New York City has a new monster. I think.

I've been hearing this weird, chilling, hair-raising noise in the city recently. It sounds kind of like errrAWWW! errrAWWW! but that doesn't do it justice. Call me if you want and I'll do it for you, or just hang around the East Village.

That's where I first noticed it. I thought it was just some asshole being loud - asshole runoff is the village's natural soundscape - but then I heard it again and again, day after day, always in the afternoon, always the same pitch, never dissolving into drunk choking-laughter. So it's either an unbelievably consistent asshole, or a terrifying, leather-taloned, flesh-ripping, fire-eyed birdmonster.

And then, not ten minutes ago, as I sat in my office in Chelsea, I heard the noise again! And for the first time, outside of the village! New York City's newest predator is expanding its territory.

So, dear reader, I need your help. New Yorkers, New Englanders, nature enthusiasts - has anyone else heard this noise? What animal sounds like Satan's MC and can survive on pizza crusts and neon green gutter water? I know we've got hawks in central park, but they don't scream like ancient demons, do they? And this bird is decidedly the downtown sort. What creature would wing past the great green square of the park for a Chelsea construction site?

Though, if I'm being honest, what I really want to know is why I've never heard this noise before. I've been here eight years, and it seems an unfunny coincidence that it's only now, after my brother died, that suddenly I'm being followed by an angry avian scream. I know, I know, it's crazily narcissitic to assume that New York's first supernatural predator since Ghostbusters would someone be linked to my California brother's premature passing. But I can't help it.

So, who knows what's going on? Any hints, theories, or protection spells would be greatly appreciated.